Written by Mrs Kensington
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Saturday, 23 August 2008

image for George Michael to Film New Police Video in Manchester
Michael - "It Was Hard Most of the Time"

The city of Manchester is bracing itself for an influx of over 250,000 uniformed lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender police from 16 forces across the UK this weekend when George Michael shoots the video for his forthcoming single "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go Outside".

The video, which will be released to commemorate the 10th anniversary of Michael's arrest for "lewd conduct" in an LA park in 1998, has reportedly cost almost £3 million to stage and took the ageing icon, who pretended to be straight in the '80s, almost two and a half years to choreograph.

In a press conference yesterday the soft spoken homosexual, who was unshaven but fresh-faced and in bouyant mood after his latest arrest in a public toilet last week, admitted that choreographing a quarter of a million camp police officers had been a challenge and it was "hard most of the time".

"They were all singing different high energy Eartha Kitt songs, freestyling and gyrating their hips. If we left them unattended for more than ten minutes they started copping off with each other" he explained.

When asked if the project was an attempt to make light of his 22 arrests for falling asleep in various locations around the world, the troubled popster replied "Life's too short not to have a laugh isn't it? I know I've been a bit silly over the last few years, but I've been involved with this project 24/7 and haven't had a full night's sleep since the Queen's 80th birthday bash in 2006, so I'm always dropping off unexpectedly. The last time it happened someone drew a pair of glasses and a little moustache on my face. It's hilarious when you think about it".

Michael told reporters that he was particularly looking forward to improving his relations with the police force and revealed that an amnesty on 'cottaging' had been declared in all public toilets in the city for the duration of the video shoot.

Close friends of the swarthy son of a kebab shop owner are said to be have been concerned about the toll the project has taken on his health and 'relieved' that it will all soon be over. "George has been burning the candle at both ends" said Sir Elton John, who is expected to play his diamond encrusted grand piano on the video, dressed as founder of the modern police force, Sir Robert Peel and suspended from a giant 19th century style bungee above the city. "He's been through a lot in the last few years but I'm sure I speak for every gay man in the UK when I say that we'll all be behind him this weekend".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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