Red-faced ministers and assorted other idiots losing sensitive data may have Twinkle the cat to thank after TheSpoof.com discovered him playing with a new dangly toy. Until now, ministers had been considering using the Trades Descriptions Act to sue manufacturers of so-called memory sticks because they can never actually remember where they have been sticking them.
Lost or stolen data has been of increasing embarrassment to the Prime Minister who has asked to remain anonymous but has promised urgent action as soon as the situation becomes urgent.
Concerned about levels of public concern, TheSpoof.com conducted it's own survey and found that 50% of people are extremely concerned.
"Well I am concerned of course because I don't really understand anything these days. Do you know who I am?" asks Mrs Betty Lavender. However, we found one man. "I don't know what all the fuss is about really" said Glen Binns of 210 Ocean View, Wisbech, PE91 0MG 0147203526 UK560285B HSBC 03-35-02 0038123 Blood Group 0- CCJ3:28/08/96, "I never read the papers or watch telly or anything but I do do the lottery and I adore cats and buy them these new toys, see. Cats are my life now really and Twinkle is a bit special. He's started his own websites and speaks twelve eastern European languages now, don't you precious, yus you doosywoosy".
If you have lost a memory stick, an identity or a cat's dangly toy, it may be possible to purchase information at mynewgbpassport.com or miaowhatsitworth.guv.uk