In a bid to crack down on the wearing of Hoodies, Government officials are to make teenagers learn the bagpipes.
It is believed that the wearing of Hoodies would stop if this was the case. Hoodie's who liked the sound of Bagpipes would find a natural habitat in many Folk clubs, where Hoodies would be matched by Arran Jumpers, and the tortuous sounds of Bagpipes and folk singing could be combined.
Tim O'Shanter from the Government told us: 'This is an excellent idea, that is obviously whole-heartedly supported by Gordon Brown, who is rightly proud of his Scottish heritage. It should be just the idea to make him even more popular in the run-up to a general election'
Monks and Nuns are excluded from the new ruling. We don't want to encourage a new musical form of Gregorian Chanting and Bagpipe. We could suggest it to Simon Cowell instead. Boyzone are looking for a new sound, since West-Life borrowed their old one.