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Thursday, 21 August 2008

London - The British Home Office today announced plans to introduce new laws that will prevent sex offenders from leaving the country, 'willy-nilly'.

Home Office spokeswoman, Kitty Fiddler, told reporters that it was imperative that minors living in underdeveloped countries were spared from falling prey to British pensioners with dicky tickers.

"I know from personal experience just how short of breath my father gets after half an hour of tomfoolery in the garden with my kids. The last thing Britain needs at this moment is an array of our clapped-out sexual deviants littered around the far-flung outposts of the world."

When asked if this ruling will also apply to those convicted of murder, kidnap or torture, Fiddler said, "Certainly not. Members of our armed forces will still be allowed to serve overseas".

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