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Wednesday, 20 August 2008

image for New reality show for cattle starting on Channel 5
Sally from Lancashire whi is taking part in "Big Udder"

In a further ground-breaking televisual broadcast, Channel 5 are hittng back at Channel 4 with a new reality show of their own.

"Big Udder", due to be screened in the Autumn, will offer the opportunity for cattle to "get on the box and do their thing".

The presenter of the show, Chris Moyles, who is about as close a human can get to being a cow or bull without totally insulting cattle said:

"We have a wonderful field lined up in Somerset, featuring haystacks, grass, fences and even an old bathtub full of water. The cows and bulls will be able to lounge around all day while being observed on a 24 hour basis on the programme.

"Each day, the herd will have the opportunity of ejecting one of their number on the basis of low milk yield, mulching grass with their mouths open, excessive mooing and relieving themselves with rear to camera, etc. A bit like Big Brother really.

"Confirmed field-mates taking part to date include Tessa the Jersey Cow from St Brelade's, Frannny the Ayrshire from Troon, Rory the Holstein- Friersian, Sally from Lancashire who is a Brown Swiss, and of course Jade Goody, a right lucky bleedin' cow from Bermondsey in London."

Chris Moyles is said to be milking it for over £400,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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