Written by Scott Nairns
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Sunday, 17 August 2008

image for Stephen Hawking Falls In Bath; Crashes the Internet
Take Us To The Moon!

The man who wrote the internet, and whose expertise is linked to it 24 hours a day, caused worry and annoyance yesterday due to him falling in the bath.

The internet was down for over two hours.

Engineers tried desperately to re-route the wiring but found they could do nothing but wait for the complicated equipment to dry out.

Using hair-dryers and sitting him close to the central heating system they were able to have the networks back up and running quickly enough, unless you happened to have your trousers round your ankles.

Thank-you calls and get-well wishes came from all over the world, some even from the Americans who seem to think they invented the internet and everything else. The Dalai Lama even logged in from a secret location to challenge Hawking to a friendly game of on-line chess, which he ultimately lost; Hawking's sneakily logging the exiled leaders' I.P address.

For someone who is known for his gravity theories, it's unsure how Hawking actually fell, or how he was bathing alone but it's sure to feature as a website or book sometime soon by the Health and Safety Executive.

Meanwhile, News of the potential worldwide catastrophe has prompted the whole world to have a 'National Stephen Hawking's Day' in honour of the great man, and his greatest creation(s).

TheSpoof.com or porn, I cannae quite decide!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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