Written by Scott Nairns
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Sunday, 17 August 2008

image for Boorman And Macgregor To Blame For Fuel Crisis
Real Bikers. Hear Any Moaning?

Both Charley Boorman and Ewan MacGregor have been blamed for the shortage and high price of fuel in the world, according to a new report out today.

Not to mention the practice and testing, 3 guzzling motorbikes; 3 Jeeps; numerous trucks; plane rides, and not to mention the gallons of fuel to get them all around the world, they have used enough fuel to run Belgium for 12 years, or run John Prescott's Jaguars for 2 months.

The BBC has also been slammed by a Government watchdog for using licence payers money to fund the millionaire's junket, not only once but twice. Once for Long Way Round, but also Long Way Down.

PM Gordon Brown, who can't even go on holiday because there is such a fuel crisis, he has had to stay at home for the past 2 years, claimed

"These pair of p****s went off to fulfil a dream at our expense and raise awareness for UNICEF and all they've done is increase poverty and pollution with their selfish ways. They even had the audacity to visit Chernobyl survivors; I'm sure they'd have welcomed a huge lungful of both the actors' tailpipes.

"They even f*****g moaned from day one. Insect bites this, punctures that, rivers being too high, calluses, and not to mention the roads! Suppose that was all my fault as well you c*nts? They think they had troubles on their way, they should have spent it in Westminster"

Charley, who is the world famous son of Director John Boorman started to cry when it was claimed the cigarette smoke from his sponsored cigarettes had claimed the lives of children, otters and Okra whales.

In MacGregors defence he claimed emphatically that, 'his head got bigger' during the trip, which he tried desperately to say was from a poisonous bite and nothing to do with all the cocaine he was snorting, or ego.

The BBC claimed it was a modern day Phileas Fogg adventure and so what if it was similar to Michael Palin and Hairy Bikers Cookbook. "It's our money and we'll spend it how we wish".

Didn't even offer a small bribe to shut me up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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