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Friday, 15 August 2008

image for Yet another group livid over recent rise in price of gas
Robert Mugabe is developing microwave to seat six because of gas price crisis

Another major representative organisation in the UK has stepped forward to slam both British Gas and the Government for the recent hike in the price of gas. It has written a very strongly-worded letter to both Prime Minister Gordon Brown and the Chief salary grabber of British Gas, Lou Katmysalaree, to complain.

The Association of Honorourable Suicide Committers, which represents the interests of people who want to end it all, has heeded the call from its members to act.

Their spokesman, Nick Loose-Noose said:

"It is really getting out of hand now. The continual rise in the price of gas means that many of our members can simply no longer afford to put their head in the gas oven to commit suicide.

"In fact, we heard of a man last week, Rick O'Shea from Co Cork, who was so desperate to end it all, that he spent ages with his head in the oven. He was only discovered five days later, lying there humming a Corrs' tune by his wife - well the Corrs' tune wasn't by his wife, it was by the Corrs, of course. Anyway she'd just arrived back from holiday and discovered her husband.

"Mr O'Shea was actually waiting for the price of gas to go down again so he could kill himself at a more reasonable cost to the family budget.

"However, Mrs O'Shea said that he could wait as long as he wanted, because their oven is electric."

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