Written by Steddyeddy
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Friday, 15 August 2008

image for David Blunkett to present dating show on ITV
A potential contestant for Blind Drunk

With queen of the dating shows Cilla Black to present a new dating show on Sky, ITV are hitting back with a revamped format of the show to be hosted by David Blunkett.

Called "Impaired Vision Date" the show, in the regular, recognised format, will offer blind people the chance to date one another and test their compatibility.

The show's producer, Michael Lowgrade said:

"This new show demonstrates the seriousness ITV has with not only promoting diversity issues, but also making money.

"The concept of a TV show for people with disabilities, is long overdue. Why shouldn't blind people have the chance to date one another. If they are unable to see how butt ugly their prospective partner for the date is, so what. At least the audience will get a laugh.

"We want blind people to be able to jet to Zimbabwe for a luxury weekend, or walk along the Great Wall of China and admire the view, or at least imagine the view. We want them to enjoy white-water rafting, or skiiing.

"As long as contestants are able to learn the pre-prepared qustions and answers we give them, anyone is welcome.

"We know this show will be the success of the season, and plan to roll out other shows in a similar vein. We are in discussions with Amplivox to sponsor a music talent show for the deaf which we hope to roll-out in three months. Naturally enough we'll have to deaf-sign for entries, rather than call for entries, as contestants won't be able to hear us.

"We also have other shows in the format under review, such as 'Blind Drunk' for alcoholics and 'Blind Bastards' for traffic wardens."

David Blunkett was delighted to be able to add this fee to the substantial one he already receives as a tabloid columnist on top of being paid a substantial MP's salary and pension by the taxpayer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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