Written by Riaz Ali
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Topics: Strike, Tree, Union

Friday, 9 November 2001

image for Tree Attendant Questions Union About Job!

A Tree attendant yesterday wrote a damning letter to PANTS, the union of Peasants and ANTS questioning his job role.

"All I have to do," said Mr O. Aktree of Birmingham, "is sit by trees for hours on end, staring at the branches and humming Crosby, Stills & Nash songs. It's pure discrimination, I mean, everyone knows Neil Young was an integral part of the group."

PANTS issued the following statement. "Ok, So Neil Young wrote 'CountryGirl' for the second album. We still feel 'Suite : Judy Blue Eyes' has a majesty and ambience that allows us to exclude Neil Young from our obligatory tree humming sessions."

Legal proceedings are still underway.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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