Written by Steddyeddy
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Friday, 15 August 2008

image for New tabloid newspaper quiz set to be a record-breaker
"People will scour tips looking for coupons - you mark my words" - Des Scrotum, Daily Star

Two 'red-top' British tabloids - the Sun and Daily Star - are set to co-operatively launch what is said to be the UK's biggest ever daily newspaper quiz, which threatens to tumble the National Lottery from its crown position.

With daily prizes being given away ranging from fantastic holidays and wonderful cars to houses and even cash, it looks set to become the formula which might yet save the day for the newsprint industry. It could even become so major that even ear-ringed builders won't dare to put their precious copy down the back of their trousers for fear of transferring the ink from their quiz coupon to their nether regions.

A spokesman for the newspapers, Des Scrotum, who completely gave up journalism in order to write for the Daily Star, said:

"We have been losing ground not only to the likes of Ant and Dec and their fake phone-ins, but even to the premium-rate dirty phone lines we advertise in the back of our own papers.

"We have developed this fantastic quiz which I know will appeal to all of our readers.

"Called 'Spot the News', the quiz will see if readers can find an item of news anywhere within the Sun or the Star.

"When a reader spots a genuine news item - and it must contain no references to Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Big Brother or Paris Hilton to qualify as news - they simply borrow a pen, or if they prefer, a crayon - and assuming of course they are able to so do, note the page number where they saw the item of news. They then phone our premium rate number 0891 666 666 at £6 a minute, hang on for 11 minutes while the telephonist makes tea and discusses George Clooney with her colleagues, and then read out the page number to her for entry into the competition. Ant and Dec and Blue Peter phone-in rules apply. Phone calls cost no more than £70.

"We will be giving away up to £1 million in prizes each and every day to lucky readers who can spot an item of real news in their paper. Now isn't that just really fabulous?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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