Written by Mrs Kensington
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Topics: Gay, Camp

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

image for Anton Du Beke now "considerably camper" than 2007
A gay

A survey conducted by independent watchdog "Mincewatch" suggests that snake-hipped entertainer Anton Du Beke is now 'considerably more gay' than he was during the 2007 series of 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

In his first solo show for the BBC, 'Step Up to the Plate', which sees top chefs challenged by keen amateurs, the horse-faced newcomer appears to skip about, wave his wrists limply and shout 'hark at her' at the unamused chefs.

Du Beke, who has fuelled speculation that he is the love child of toupeed tap dancer Bruce 'Brucie' Forsyth by sticking out his chin, was unavailable for comment yesterday but his best friend Paul O'Grady told reporters "It's rubbish, Anton has always been camp. In our Manchester days we used to dress up as Ena Sharples and Minnie Caldwell in the gay clubs. I was Ena, because he has an odd-shaped head and the hairnet wouldn't stay on".

Du Beke's 'Strictly Come Dancing' - affectionately known as 'Strictly' - dancing partner, Kate Garraway was stunned at the revelation. "I can't believe it. Anton was like an eight-armed Peter Stringfellow in rehearsals. No sooner had I managed to push his hands off my tits than he'd grabbed my arse".

Forecasters are undecided about the outlook for Autumn, but top celebrity bookmaker William Hill is tipping Anton, whose real name is Burt Reynolds, as odds-on favourite to overtake Dale Winton by October.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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