The saga of George Michael's unconventional sleeping habits took a new turn yesterday, when the hairy-faced Greek was discovered slumped and unconscious in a cubicle of a notoriously gay toilet on Hampstead Heath.
The bleary-eyed multi-millionaire, who has been found "away with the fairies" in several expensive cars around London, was arrested yet again, on suspicion of being under the influence of a controlled substance.
After twelve hours of questioning at Hampstead police station Michael, who openly enjoys being a homosexual, emerged shaking but confident and read a statement to waiting reporters.
"As usual this has been a silly fuss about nothing. I have undergone extensive tests that will prove I was not under the influence of any controlled substance and I did not have any in my possession. I simply fell asleep on the toilet waiting for someone to put their cock through the glory hole"