Written by Mrs Kensington
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Topics: Diet, John Prescott

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

image for Prescott to be New Face of Slimming Products
Slim-shake - tasty treats

Slim-shake, Britain's number one manufacturer of tasty, nutritionally balanced meals and snacks to help you slim without feeling deprived of your favourite things, has announced that John Prescott, the putty-faced ex-deputy prime minster who once punched a man for calling him a 'fat twat', is to be it's new face.

Asked whether he was an appropriate choice, the newly slimline Prescott, who recently admitted to losing weight by gorging on pies, waffles, tortilla chips and taramasalata followed by purging, was quick to point out that throughout his eating disorder he always drank Slim-shake to induce vomiting.

In a press conference on Friday Prescott, who is now a shadow of his former self, quipped "Of course, as the new face of Slim-shake, I will be recommending the Slim-shake shakes - but not the binging and vomiting!".

A spokesperson for Slim-shake expressed the company's delight at having the former cellulite-clad waiter on board but agreed that he wasn't an obvious choice. "We had signed a deal with Fern Britten, but of course had to pull out after the gastric band revelations. A company with our reputation couldn't possibly be seen to advocate weight loss by such drastic, dangerous methods."

When asked how she felt about her husband's responsible new role, Mrs Prescott said that she is very supportive and excited and looking forward to joining him in sampling the entire range of Slim-shake shakes, custard creams and tasty instant soups.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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