Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: Lottery

Friday, 25 July 2008

image for Man allowed to keep lottery ticket he found in street
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Matthew Streetwalker, a retired florist from Stretford in Manchester was thrilled with the news that the police and the Camelot lottery people have allowed him to keep the lottery ticket he found at his local bus station earlier today.

Matthew said: "It restores your faith in Great Britain that despite those bozos making so much money from running the lottery, the normal man in the street - except when Russell Brand is in the street, because he's not really very normal - can ultimately benefit from being honest.

"It also demonstrates to the youth of today that if they are honest, they will be rewarded. So I say to all Manchester teenagers, in future, if the Police ask if it is your knife, be honest.

"When I found the lottery ticket blowing down the concourse of the bus station this morning, my first thought was to furtively shove it in my pocket and rush home - although Rusholme is only just up the road from Stretford.

"However, my parents and their parents before them didn't fight in two world wars for their son to simply steal someone else's property - in fact, my parents and their parents actually didn't fight in either war, but that's another story."

Mr Streetwalker hasn't yet decided what to do with his lottery ticket, but observers say he will probably either throw it away or check with Stretford Council whether it can be recycled, as non-winning tickets don't really have that much value.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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