Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 24 July 2008

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Total masters of deception!

The Darwins, those masters in the art of deception, who were given 6-year-plus jail sentences this week for Pulling The Wool Over The Eyes Of Authority, have gone missing again on their way to incarceration.

John Darwin, sometime-canoeist, and his wife Anne, the 'innocent victim', were being taken to separate prisons in the same vehicle, due to cutbacks in Home Office expenditure on custody transportation.

As the vehicle stopped outside a quiet newsagents for the driver to buy some crisps, John and Anne wriggled free of their restraints, forced the lock on the door, and set off to Panama.

The security group transporting the deceptive pair cannot be named, as it might result in the lawsuit Home Office v. Group 4, but you'll certainly have heard of them within this sentence.

The driver of the 'security' van, Alf Dripp, 58, said:

"I was only gone a minute. Even Houdini couldn't escape that quick!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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