Max Mosely the head of the governing body that regulates motorsport, has won huge damages from downmarket tabloid the News of The World and intends to spend the lot on 'a right good seeing to.'
Max spoke of his forthcoming relief at a press conference outside the High Court in London. 'Before I could only hire five women but with this victory I can afford maybe ten, a sex swing and a fully operational, hydraulic clunge squeezer. The court says I have not been a naughty boy but I am sure some girls of negotiable affection will tell me otherwise - if I pay them enough.'
A spokesman for the British S&M society said 'It's great to have him back in the game. He has whipped up quite a storm but beaten the sleazy journalists at their own game. Now if you'll excuse me I have to staple my nipples to a tiger.'
Max denied that his orgies had a Nazi theme, insisting that the German accents and black leather uniforms were part of an elaborate Hasselhoff based fantasy.