Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 22 July 2008

image for Job Scare At Job Centre
Have you been looking for work, Sir?

There were terrifying scenes of pandemonium this morning at a local Jobcentre Plus office when staff and frantic 'customers' realised that one of the jobs on the Visual Display Jobpoints was genuine.

The alarm was activated and the building evacuated with at least 20 people hurt as they fled for their lives. Job Disposal Experts were called, and shortly before 1pm, the job was 'made safe'.

So that 'customers' wouldn't panic, they were told it was a hoax.

The incident happened at Dudley Jobcentre where, just two weeks ago, in similar circumstances, a bomb was discovered. In stark contrast, that day, 'customers' filed out in 'ambling fashion' to the safety of the car park.

One witness, Shane Doss, who was signing on that day and this, said:

"It was diff'rent today. I ran for me leisure!"

Another, Brian Dole said:

"It were froightening, it were. Ya neva naw these days, do ya? It moighta bin real.
Ar moightav ended up with a job!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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