Written by carina-eta
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Sunday, 20 July 2008

image for Shreddies Sales Plummet After Nana's Adverts
I just pissed again!

Popular crunchy breakfast cereal Shreddies sales have plummeted since the new adverts featuring grannies knitting them appeared on British TV's.

The public are apparently so turned off at the thought that wart-covered hairy old women are handling the breakfast cereal before they are packed that kids all over Britain are throwing tantrums rather than eat the cereal.

In the adverts, ugly senile old women in polyester dresses line up on a urine-stained sofa pretending to knit the little squares before they are mauled by a shifty looking bloke in a mac who then throws them into the box to be shipped out to unsuspecting homes all over the UK.

One parent claimed she had to soak the Shreddies in double cream with a crust of chocolate and sugar before her son would consider eating one.

"Quite frankly, he'd rather have a bowl of monkey-shit." she said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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