In a shocking announcement, long feared by keen observers of the UK, Scotsman and UK Prime Minister told the world that from now on there would be Scotch independence. Opponents of the drastic measure warned that this kind of a split could lead to civil unrest and even a war between the kingdoms of the British Isles. In fact, troop movements along the borders were shown in satellite photographs taken by US intelligence.
The United Nations, the European Union and NATO have all sent envoys to the British Isles to try and avoid the imminent cataclysm.
As the world held its breath it was Brown who blinked: "I have reconsidered," he told the world, "Scotch independence is a cause that the world and Great Britain is clearly not ready for. Therefore I hereby declare that as tradition has established Scotch Whiskey must be made in Scotland, even if the stuff they make in Chile tastes better!"