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Saturday, 19 July 2008

image for "Brainstorming" to be banned under equality and diversity rules
Three potential future thickos who couldn't give a monkeys because it's not their brains the men will be after

The Department for Employing Consultants and Moneywasting (DECM), which was a part of DTi before it became BEHR, has announced a new initiative to help some senior manager, otherwise pre-occupied with filling in his holiday requisition sheet, to gain brownie points.

From now on, the term "Brainstorming" will no longer be tolerated as a term at meetings, events or in the pub.

Peregrine Hubert Medulla-Oblongata, a minister (he's a Methodist one who just happened to be passing at the time) at the DECM said:

"We have thought long and hard and decided that the term "Brainstorming" could be seen as discriminating against the lunatics, half-wits, suitable cases for treatment, people of negative IQ, Premiership footballers and Toyota 4x4 Land Cruiser drivers of this world.

"In this day and age, it is important we protect the interests of those people who might be hard of thinking.

"Just because they are terminally stupid, a lame-brain, a dimwit, a sandwich short of a picnic or even just plain old genetically thick, doesn't mean it should be allowed for them to be discriminated against.

"From now on, businesses or organisations arranging "Brainstorming" meetings should refer to them as "Cogitative Collation Respite Sessions" or "Time spent getting a senior manager out of a hole because he's as creative and as useful as either a piece of wet cardboard or an entire HR department".

"Although to compare someone's usefulness to that of an entire HR department, could be discriminatory on the basis of simple human decency."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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