In an astonishing turn of events, British 100m sprinter Dwain Chambers has told of his plans to pursue a career in the judiciary, and has set his sights on becoming the first Black Drugs Cheat judge.
Chambers was speaking after he had failed in his bid to obtain an injunction against the British Olympic Association which would have overturned his ban on appearing in the Beijing Games in just 25 days time.
The runner showed no disappointment, but said:
"Ma solicita failed to persuade the judge, but I lark the look of workin in a courtharse. Seems alright, dinnit? Ar 'ad a go at playin rugby for Carsleford, an that didat work art, so ar fink ar'll 'ave a go at Judging next, innit?"
The disgraced Chambers said he had been invited into Judge Mackay's chambers, and had tried on his robes and played with his gavel, in order to get an idea of what it felt like to be a real-life High Court judge. He told reporters:
"Them cloaks is wicked, man!"