Written by Rodd Justice
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Topics: Terrorism

Friday, 9 November 2001

image for Projects Cancelled in Wake of Terror Attacks
Terrorism - The banned game

Dumb-O-Rama TV was forced to cancel an episode of it's top rated show "An Audience With?" after it was revealed that Osama Bin Laden was presenting. The audience was apparantly made up of Islamic Jihad, the Real IRA and the surviving members of the "Black and White Minstrel Show". The company decided to pull the show out of the schedule because its "predominantly evil content would be inappropriate given recent events in the US."

Software maker StupidMedia has stopped production of the computer game "Terrorism" because of the recent terror attacks. However, it denied that the game was designed with the intention of glorifying terrorist attacks.

This comes as a double blow for the company, as it had also spent millions developing it's "Who Wants to be A Billionaire" video game, until it was found that users were cheating by communicating with sneezes in the background.

A criminal investigation has been launched, with Osama Bin Laden's network as the number one suspect.

However, some new projects have arisen from the rubble of the World Trade Centre, like some corporate phoenix from the terror flames. A new charity, Ball-Point Terror, has received over $150 million, which will be used to compensate stationers for their loss of business as a result of the attacks. Quite rightly, donations have consequently fallen for traditional charities such as Assfam. A spokesman said "I'd just like to thank everyone for stopping donating, because we've been giving those Islams free stuff for ages, and look how they repay us!"

American bombing of Afghanistan is also having surprising benefits. It is saving money on future demolition work that will be required for when American economic colonisation occurs. Food drops are also helping Afganistan's hunger crisis: these 1-ton grain crates dropped from 10,000 feet are squashing to death many of the starving people below, who can often be such an eyesore in the community.

New opportunities have emerged from the crisis as well as the end of some others. It raises the question: if this is the effect, should we really be attempting to ban terrorism? Answer next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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