London - (Preposterous Mess): MPs and members of the House of Lords heard today that Parliament's switchboard was bugged on George W Bush's personal orders shortly after Prime Monster Tony Blair returned from his 2001 Camp David summit with orders to prepare for war.
But the buggers were soon outed after a freak glitch in the Strangers Bar cloakroom telephone.
This had been mysteriously allocated an number identical to that of the Madam running the London branch of Elliot Spitzer's Holy Roman Emperor VIP Hooker Club.
Blair's personal stockpiles of assorted altarboys were soon outed as well as the Vatican network financing the sordid shenanigans.
Up to 100 key members of the two Houses were hurriedly briefed by Special Branch officers and cunningly laid on a staggering pantomime performance to nail counter-terrorism documents later identified as the fictitious WMD Dodgy Dossier.
"We had a right laugh hamming it up on the Parliametary phone network," Lord Ballybollox of Ballybollox Castle said today.
"We'd take turns every day praising the awesome intelligence of the US president and pontificating on the glory of the Special Relationship.
"Sure enough, the twats fell for it hook, line and sinker just as the Special Branch chaps video'd Osama in a three-way wagon-wheel shag with the Poodle Brothers at the Washington Hilton."
Cherie Blair is covered in warts.