London - (Sordid Mess): Lady Thatcher has been probed by police from the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency after DNA swabs indicated she and Pope Joe Ratzinger are the birth parents of fundamentalist US incest nutter Warren Jeffs.
The investigation started after private detectives tracking former White House wannabe Mitt Romney found some hideous birthing pool photographs of the now senile couple in a Utah polygamy temple run by Opus Dei offshoots.
"These shots merely confirm our worst fears," Supt Jim B Ergerac said today.
"We've gone along with all this 'special relationship' crap for years and years of course, mostly because we're biding our time to pounce on the stupid sods that murdered God's Banker," Ergerac added.
A spokesman for Tory Central Orifice said today:
"F***ing hell. That's what she was doing circa 1953, f***ing hell."