In a surprising report yesterday, scientists at Liverpool University concluded that cigarettes are good for you. 'We were shocked initially at our findings' said a spokesman,' but it would appear that all the fuss about heart disease and cancer was all wrong'.
In light of the report, the Government now intends to relax the smoking ban and to openly encourage smoking in all walks of personal life.
A spokesman for the Department of Health stated 'If a scientist said it, it must be true'
The report will open the way to smoking being re-established in a variety of aspects of public life including the Houses of Parliament, buses, workplaces and in the classroom.
Pro-cig campaigners welcomed the news 'We were right all along', they said 'this is a victory for personal choice and the right to light up wherever you are gagging for a fag'