Must-have numpties throughout the UK, queuing for the newly-released Apple i-Phone, received a shock today when many of them, having spent days waiting in the pouring rain, found they couldn't have one due to credit processing problems.
Luke Stupid of Crouch End, who queued for 4 days outside his local British Gas store was devastated. He said:
"On the one hand, I do like to queue for a hobby anyway, but when I got into the Gas Showroom at 7.03 this morning, the best the assistant could offer me was a gas fire or £500 off a central heating installation."
Barbara Pathetic from Colchester witnessed a similar thing.
"I am very happy with my Nokia Grand Text, mega pixel Camera, e-mail, internet, mp3 player 27000 model. I think it may even let me make phone calls. But I needed the new i-Phone, because it has more gadgets that I'll never use anyway.
"However, I queued for 4 days outside my local Primark, only to find that they don't sell phones.
"My message to Apple is to get their act together and ensure sufficient stocks are available everywhere, otherwise they will lose customers hand over wallet."