As the NHS heads towards another bed crisis supermarket giant Tesco have stepped in to help.
A Tesco spokesman explained, "It's quite simple really. The shopper can exchange 200,000,000 club cards points in return for a week's stay in a bed at the back of our warehouse."
NHS bosses have defended this controversial move. "There is no reason why a hospital bed should actually have to be in a hospital. We now have a system of virtual beds; so in theory this bed could be anywhere - at your cousin Pete's house for example, or down at the allotment. It's offering choice to customers, which is something we are keen to promote."
When asked what kind of treatment could be provided under these circumstances, Tesco declined to comment.