Written by victor nicholas
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Tuesday, 8 July 2008

image for Wimbledon Final Delayed by Philip's Drinking
"Where the devil did all these yellow spots come from?"

The longest Wimbledon final in history was marred twice Sunday by a shameless public drinking display by Prince Philip.

While the tennis match proved to be a great demonstration of skill, Philip paid little attention to it, preferring to recline inebriated in the royal box drinking beer from the Wimbledon Trophy which can hold over a full pint. Popping his head up once by mistake Philip spotted McEnroe doing commentary in the US television booth and muttered "Borg and McEnroe again . . . the same damn match as 1980, fetch me another drink squire."

While the stunning sportsmanship played out for the world, the Wimbledon Trophy, well filled with beer by his aids, remained firmly in Philip's grasp until after the second set when he stumbled and spilled a vast quantity of beer over a camera man.

The grounds crew quickly rolled out tarps over the court to prevent it from becoming beer sodden while announcers covered up for the Prince by reporting it as a rain delay.

No sooner than play resumed the Prince lost his grip again and sent another flood of beer over center court. Again the grounds crew rolled out the tarps and embarrassed television announcers reported a second rain delay in spite of the clear blue sky.

Once it began to turn dark and the match was declared over the Prince instructed palace workers to "give the Trophy to that young Spanish boy over there to give to the winner."

Federer, who is no stranger to Wimbledon and the Prince's antics, showed his class after the match by demonstrating no animosity towards Philip for disrupting the match and ruining his winning streak and gave a wink in the direction of the old pisser instead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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