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Sunday, 6 July 2008

image for Britain leads the way for 'leading' companies
The two finalists in the competition to find a replacement for that irritating "OhYes!" nodding insurance dog.

According to research from some insurance company wanting to gain some cheap publicity and get itself in the newspapers because business is bad and they didn't want to pay for their adverts with their bloody nodding dog, red telephone or some idiot dressed in a captain's suit, the UK has more 'leading' companies than any other country in the developed world.

The research, carried out by a totally bored middle manager, Arthur Simple, of Rochdale, took a sample of over 3,000 recruitment advertisements placed in the the respective daily Guardian media, society and education job pages over a 4 week period.

His results revealed that during the 4 weeks surveyed, there were:

    36 different leading manufacturers
    14 different leading charities
    37 different leading marketing agencies
    36 different leading high street retailers
    29 different leading fashion retailers
    15 different leading electronic firms
    9 different leading holiday firms
    13 different leading recruitment sharks
    19 different leading accountancy practices
    15 different leading legal practices

Mr Simple said of his results: "I think you will agree that while it is truly tremendous to have all these leaders, there seems to be a slight problem in that no-one seems to be following.

"Now I don't wish to appear negative, but I can see it getting to the stage where we will have to have a leading leader, in order to separate the leaders from all the leaders. But I have to question who might lead this, or even who might become leader of this leadership lead.

"Er!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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