Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 28 June 2008

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Spitting Crimes: Police won't discuss the details

Dennis McHugh, the Big Brother housemate evicted from the show yesterday, has been arrested by police in London and charged with offences in relation to Spitting.

McHugh, 23 and gay, spat gob in the face of fellow contestant Mohamed after a barney in which 15 of the 15 BB housemates were involved. At one point, there was a danger that the incident might become 'adult', but the voice of BB stepped in to calm things down.

Afterwards, McHugh was ejected and put on a train back to Scotland, still in his dressing gown, but police launched an undercover operation and stormed the train before it left Kings Cross Station. Dennis was arrested and taken to Paddington Green nick for a 'debriefing', grilling and drilling.

Detective Chief Inspector Alan Kojak, who led the operation, said:

"We have an individual in custody, and we are questioning him on a number of unsolved 'spitting crimes'. This is a very serious matter, and we will be talking to our suspect at length."

The 'spitting crimes' are thought to include an incident in the capital last year, when a man answering McHugh's description was seen spitting at a bus stop in Kensington, and another fracas in Oxford Street in March, when three youths were spat at by a group of drunks whilst having a quiet night out.

When our Spoof reporter asked Detective Kojak for specific details of the crimes to be investigated, he would only reply:

"I am not allowed to discuss nominations with other housemates."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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