A top Asian police officer in London today didn't make a claim of racial discrimination. Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur made the announcement on BBC Radio 4 that 'I'm not making any claim of discrimination, I'm just doing a paid job like a grown-up man.
Leaders of the Asian community in London were astounded by these comments, and many were demanding that Mr Ghaffur should resign, if not hire lots of lawyers to hit the taxpayer for millions, as is traditional in recent years. And famous QC Antonia Blair said: 'I will be demanding that the alleged speech, made on air by an alleged police officer, is allegedly going to make me a fortune. Can you spare ten million pounds for a cup of Legal Aid tea, guv?'
The head of the Whinging Asian Society, Abu Hamzir, said: 'Whinge, whinge, whinge, poor me, poor me, poor me. Skin colour, race, religion, compensation. Thanks for allowing me the right of public free speech for years, something you ain't likely to get in many Muslim countries.'
But Mr Ghaffur refused to take back his remarks. 'I'm just a human being, like everyone else', he explained, 'I get ridiculed about my accent and skin colour and name like everyone else in Britain, just think of the jibes the poor Scots and Welsh have to put up with! You can hardly see one of them claiming compensation for being called a 'tight-fisted Jock', or 'a Taffy who's too fond of his farm stock!'
The Committee for Racial Gravytrains will be investigating the incident, and its leader, Mohammed al-Fayed, will be making extra whinging remarks to the press in support of the policeman. Kemal Ataturk is 100 next week.