A former Vicar from Grimsby is taking Arab terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda to the European Court of Human Rights.
Reverend Alan Qaeda, often referred to by his friends as 'Al', or sometimes by others as 'Reverend' is seeking an injunction against Al-Qaeda to prevent them from using his name for publicity, pr, marketing, advertising or murder purposes because he says he has had his name for far longer.
His spokesman, legal and banking expert Iwin Nofee from Welsh Human Rights and had-an-accident-not-your-fault solicitors and ambulance-chasers Sue, Robbit and Bankit said:
"My client, Al Qaeda, who has promised us 40% of the proceeds on a no-win but bloody-pay-us-anyway basis, is extremely upset by the continual publicity this foreign-based club Al-Qaeda keeps getting.
"I mean, anyone can see that my client has no hyphen in his name.
"He is especially upset that no matter how controversial his sermons are about the wrath of God, same-sex marriages, underage sex or buying fish and chips on a Sunday, his namesake Al-Qaeda manages to achieve column-feet when one of their members blows themselves up in public, or they release a film such as "Captain Hook Hanza and the Profit from Doom.
"Al also feels it is completely unwarranted that a foreign club such as Al-Qaeda should take precedence over his home-grown efforts. It's not as if they pay that £30,000 non domicile tax the Government doesn't take from its luvvy friends and party donors."
A spokesman from Al-Qaeda, Mullah Fatwah Roquette, speaking from a semi-detached cave on the Pakistan border said:
"Sorry, but Reverend Al Qaeda hasn't a leg to stand on in this instance, especially if it's the instance of a roadside mine. Then he'll have no legs at all to stand on, almost a Heather Mills-McCartney situation, but with suicide bombs.
"My leader Osama Bin Liner has clearly stated that the only way we can survive is through publicity, pr, marketing and a clear policy of murdering innocent civilians.
"I can only suggest that if he wants less publicity, he should change his name by deed poll. Or he cood even change it to the Reverend Deed Poll."