Well, how rich do you want to be? If you are a poor, talentless, loser, then its time you consulted our resident team of cheats, liars and fraudsters at 'AMBULANCE CHASERS R' US'.
Our dedicated team will assess your potential income if you can answer three simple questions which are :-
- Are you rich?
- Do you want to be rich?
- How rich do you want to be?
Our organisation is simple.
Our methods are simple.
Our results will make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams!
Here is an example using an actual case study:
Mrs Soon-to-be-rich has a posh neighbour.Her neighbour has all the high status possessions that any woman could possibly want.
But sadly Mrs S is impoverished! What can she do? Fortunately Mrs S was approached by one of our guttersnipes in her local shopping mall, which changed her life forever!
This is how our team of experts gave our client the lifestyle she deserved:-
Our central-fraud office in
Al Capone Buildings, Dudley , Birmingham got a message from one of its many top operatives, that a quantity of vegetable oil had been spilled in the isle of Mrs S's local Sainsburys supermarket.
Within the space of two minutes, we had transported her to the scene of the oil spillage; arranged a suitable skid-related accident and arranged a crowd of 'witnesses' to make statements of how negligent the supermarket had been!
Our dedicated team of legal vultures handled matters from here.
As usual, we extorted a seven figure sum for Mrs S.
Not a bad days work!
But that's not all we do!
We can arrange compensation for any or all of the following tragedies;-
Tripping, car crashing, loss of hearing, falling, abusing, assaulting, brain damaging, train derailing and crashing, aeroplane blood clots, hospital botch-ups, child abuse, recurring nightmares, dentists errors, falling off chairs, accidents at work or any condition where a few lies can make you a richer person!
And finally, just remember our little golden motto ;-
'An accident is not just for Christmas,--- an accident provides money for life!'