Written by Steddyeddy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Drugs, Cocaine

Monday, 23 June 2008

image for Leading drug dealer claims coke is not dangerous
Cleverly disguised Grade A drug

On his fact-finding tour of the UK, Jay Zous Khrist, one of the USA's most dangerous drug barons and music rappers has openly declared that coke is not dangerous, and that governments throughout the world are "making a mountain out of a crucial earth mound".

He told a packed audience of journalists at the Royal Academy of Country Rap Music, or, as it is more commonly referred to, CRap Music, in London:

"The dangers of coke are being vastly over-stated by everyone from the media and politicians to over-anxious parents who molly-coddle their youngsters.

"If used in sparing amounts, coke is not the fearsome drug it appears.

"Yes, I agree that if you leave a dirty penny or cent in a glass of Coke, it will go completely clean, but labelling it a Class A drug is wrong.

"If people drink sensibly, and perhaps take more diet Coke than the original full-sugar content variety, then they won't pile on the pounds and get rotten teeth.

"It's all about sensible usage, in normal amounts. Don't go "large" when at McKingKentucky. Don't buy one and get one free when 'every little helps'. One or two cans or small bottles a week will do no harm.

"Just be intelligent about your usage. And then Eric Clapton won't go writing songs about your habit. Although I believe your Labour and Lost Causes singer Melvyn Bragg did. It went: "Have a Coke, then have a smoke, if you drink too much, you'll have a fat old tush. Lah Di Lah Di Lah."

"Great English song.

"In fact, raptastic."

Make Steddyeddy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 2?

5 13 4 8
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top