In a surprise move today, 5 million Scots were changed from being 'citizens' to 'residents'.
Speaking from his cave near Stirling, Robert 'the Bruce' Bruce said: 'Scotland is a sovereign nation, as is England, I wish idiots would stop speaking about it as if it's a region or something. It's like talking about English residents, or German ones - not much difference between those 2, haha.'
And SNP First Minister, Alex Salmond, also said: 'I dunno who writes this tripe, they must be American or something, or more likely English, don't they have history books there?'
The United Kingdom has existed for over 400 years, and is made up of 5 peoples - English, Scots, Welsh, Northern Irish, and Cornish - oh, and Scousers make it 6 - but cheap jibes from the school playground are what really makes good satire.
Aldous Huxley is 94 tomorrow.