Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Money, Parliament, MPs

Sunday, 22 June 2008

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A Greedy Bastard Earlier Today

"Britain's MPs are not greedy bastards only interested in trousering large amounts of cash". So said Sir Phil Yourown-Boots, Tory MP for Windsor.

"We are worth every penny of our new £40,000 pay rise. We work hard voting on important issues like detaining foreigners and pay rises" he said.

The pay rise is likely to prove controversial at a time when the cost of living is constantly rising way above the average wage packet. But Parliamentary insiders say that being an MP is not just a glorified pig trough. Sometimes MPs can be at work for nearly three hours a day. And many only have five directorships to help them make ends meet.

The public, however, are not convinced.

"I went to see my MP. He was on his luxury yacht in the Bahamas. It cost me a great deal of money. And when I got there he told me that he would love to help me but that there was a recession and the country needed to economise. He then sold me to some East European people traffickers" said Mrs Beryl Bonkers of Hemel Hempstead.

MPs are hoping that this pay rise-their third this week-will go some way to ease the expenses row which has gripped the nation. By stopping some of their expenses and then voting themselves more money than they would have claimed, MPs are hoping that the electorate really is as thick as pigshit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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