Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 21 June 2008

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Thatcher-Implicated in Coup

Margaret Thatcher was today named as the instigator of a coup.

Giving evidence in court, Charles Dexter-Elisher, an old Etonian and former SAS cook said "Originally it started as a joke. A few of the chaps at the Reform club said it would be a terrific wheeze to overthrow the government. Had I known what was going to happen I never would have joined in."

It is said that Thatcher seized power in 1979 using unfair methods. This include using the evil siamese twins Fartchi and Fartchi and their propaganda skills.

The incumbent Prime Minister Jim Callaghan suspected nothing when he was invited to Grantham for a cream tea. But he was poisoned by Norman Tebbit, the Chingford serial baby killer.

The government was now leaderless and Thatcher hoped to fill that void.

The government was split.

Tony Benn, speaking from the Vladimir Lenin Sanatorium For The Terminally Left Wing said "I tried to rally the comrades round me. But Healy thought his bushy eyebrows would be better for the country. And Owen felt that the country needed a good doctor. But we never did sort it out. More tea?"

Thatcher stormed Downing Street. It is believed that there were over three million casualties in the battle which followed. However the true cost has never been established.

Stephanie Pride, a former member of the Socialist Workers' Party said "Thatcher out. Kick the Tories out. Buy your copy of the Socialist Worker". Everybody else said "Fuck off".

It is believed that a huge amount of money was involved. Nigel Lawson, Thatcher's financial advisor denied such claims from his 96-bedroomed castle in the Cotswolds.

The trial is expected to last some time as many of the witnesses are old and many of the victims are dead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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