London - (OMFG Mess): Convicted jailbirds Martha Stewart and Mark Thatcher may yet be able to travel to the UK and US respectively under a new extradition treaty being hammered out by the Department of Homeland Insecurity and the UK Borderline Personalities Agency.
Stewart, 69, was turned down this week for entry to the UK because a US criminal conviction barred her from attending an international insider traders' convention in Barking, East London.
Thatcher meanwhile has been banned from the USA after being found him guilty of planning a 2004 mercenary coup d'etat in Equatorial Guinea, an accusation he says is flagrantly unjust "because Mummy (Mrs Thatcher) and Uncle George Bush Senior supplied all the money and heavy artillery for it."
Today's new proposals would see both convicted felons getting permission to travel, albeit with certain caveats.
Stewart's visa conditions would require her to stay at the General Pinochet Suite at HMP Belmarsh and agree to an electronic ankle tag at all other times when let loose upon a steadfastly homemaking-repelled British population.
Thatcher meanwhile would be allowed to visit his two children and ex-wife in Texas just as long as it was via a US military videolink from a specially reserved detention suite at Camp0 X-Ray in Guantanamo, Cuba.
"Seems a damned fair deal to me," a spokesman for the Felons Anonymous fellowship said today.