In a shock move New Labour have sacked Gordon Brown and appointed a man in a bed sheet as their new leader. Disastrous poll ratings and the continued economic crisis led to party chiefs taking drastic action.
One insider said "We wanted a new image to identify with the voters. Since so many of them are now being made homeless we thought this little bloke in the bed sheets would swing things our way".
Gordon Brown is said to be depressed and greatly troubled. So, no change there. The Conservative party are also thinking of an image change. Alf Garnett was seen coming away from a meeting with senior Tories earlier today, but no announcement has been made.
It is thought that the man in the bed sheets will be seeking a major policy change soon. He is expected to call for the introduction of official 'Duvet days' and the slogan 'Putting Government to Bed' has already been released.
It is also thought that Alistair Darling will be replaced by a wino on a mattress, but Charles Kennedy is denying all the rumors.