Written by Earl Grey
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Friday, 20 June 2008

image for Immigrant Escapees Recaptured
An Asylum Seeker

Police have today confirmed that they have made arrests in relation to the break out from Campsfield detention centre. It is thought that seven illegal immigrants escaped from the centre.

Police went looking for illegal immigrants and have made in excess of 50,000 arrests. Chief Inspector Bastard of the Mets Nick All Foreigners Squad said "We greatly appreciate the new powers being given to us in the fight against foreigners. We think that the British people need to be protected from people who are persecuted by their own regimes. Come to think of it, you look foreign to me. Come here...."

The governor at Campsfield said he was not concerned about the possibility of overcrowding as a result of the arrests. "They are already 100 to a cell, and they are all foreign so I don't really give a shit."

By locking up asylum seekers and then deporting them the government hopes to increase employment. Extra prison guards are needed. It is also thought that a new airline, 'British Justice Air', will soon be established.

A spokesperson for the BNP said "We used to want to be elected, but now we don't need to try as our policies are in the mainstream of British politics". The detainees were not allowed to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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