In a shock secret interview with a top cabinet minister, it has been revealed that Piers Morgan, apparently 39, is to join the Labour Party in a bid to undermine the Prime Minister Tony Blair.
Piers Morgan, the disgraced ex Mirror Editor with no morals, will use his substantial pay off of £1.5 million after losing his job to fund his efforts to join the labour party with back handers and pies.
In a move that is designed purely to undermine Tony Blair, Piers Morgan, possibly gay, has vowed revenge and stands by his claims that a bunch of people joking in the back of a van with a camera is ample truth that the British forces are abusing Iraqi's and that Tony Blair is hiding something.
To further complicate matters, a senior trusted cabinet minister is backing the move. After an anonymous call detailing the revelations, we met with the minister who wanted to get his or her point across to begin the process of destabilizing Tony Blair.
We met at a secret location, a small restaurant called 'The Pie and Mash Shop' in Whitehall, London. In order to stay anonymous, our two faced minister wore a disguise for the duration of, breakfast, brunch, lunch and lunch second helpings by wearing a black bag on his or her head.
We asked the back stabber why he or she felt the need to have Tony Blair removed, the minister, also very fat or if female - pregnant, said "I am only interested in what's best for the UK and for Europe".
Further probing also revealed that the minister, who ate 256 pies, also wanted a pay rise and that in his or her current role of doing nothing with a salary of £330,000 basic before bonus and overtime was unacceptable and Piers Morgan has promised to throw in some pies on top his or her current pay packet, longer lunch breaks and to lower his or her workload in return for 'fixing it' for Piers to become a member of parliament.
We could not get any other qoutes from the minister who once auditioned for the part as 'Jabba the Hut' in Star Wars other than a sharp comment when we mentioned his/her failed acting career "that B****dy George Lucas, I was perfect for Jabba and instead he chose a pretty boy".
The rest of the half day secret meeting, our minister was busy with pies to say anything else.