Stonehenge, Wilts - (Neolithic Mess): Druids' annual Stonehenge summer solstice ramblings have suffered a major setback.
A numerology scare focuses on Friday's preceding Sun/Pluto opposition at 19.42GMT, the year Hitler's Pope Pius XII opened his Vatican Orifice of Whore Disinformation that gave the nod for an Opus Dei impostor to be fast-tracked as Princess Elizabeth, aka today's Puppet Monarch.
"Jupiter's own retrograde 19.42 degrees position in Capricorn merely reinforces existing fears that the hand of destiny now bears the Grim Reaper's scythe," a Soothsayers' Association source commented.
"The additional Mars/Neptune opposition in the majestic sign of Leo and Aquarius the Wart Bearer merely confirm all our suspicions."
The Druidic pagan order is now rehearsing an ancient Egyptian funerary rite last used when Aleister Crowley despoiled Kaiser Willhelm's bullet-riven body in a cocaine-fuelled binge of unprecedented necrophilia.
"We fear something big will happen at the Midsummer festival this year," a Welsh Bards source said today.