Today the Welsh nationalist party, Plaid Cymru, changed its name to Died Cymru, in honour of the suicides sweeping across Wales like an Australian bush fire.
Party leader, Daeffydd Lllangolliogoch said: 'Bora da, people. Yes, a vote for Welsh nationalism is a boost for the local funeral directors, isn't it?' And another Assembly member, Pam Smith, added: 'It's our young men's patriotic duty to hang themselves, how else would Wales get in the news? Nothing has happened here for a thousand years.'
Investigations have revealed that the only things for Welsh men to do are to dig coal, play rugby, or kill themselves, and many are seeing the latter as the best option. A few have joned the Assembly, but are already thinking of visiting their local B&Qs or sailing shops, and others are checking up on their pharmacy's supplies of cyanide, just in case.
A spokeswoman for Samaritans said: 'It's terrible, if people keep on bumping themselves off there'll be no-one left for us to talk to. Nothing we enjoy more than people calling us up and telling us they want to die.' And doctors were concerned that they would run out of patients, as their entire work consists of prescribing anti-depressants.
Jonathan Davies is happy today.