Written by Andley Blakerew
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Lottery, Homeless

Monday, 17 May 2004

image for Lottery wins man
On the job: Chester in his new post as security guard

In an unprecedented move, the National Lottery has taken a homeless man slave after he was unable to pay for his winning lottery ticket, which he had acquired with a fake credit card.

The hobo in question, a certain Mr. Chester Stevenson, 45, found the credit card in a post-box he happened to be sleeping in and, using his degree in law, applied the finders-keepers-losers-weepers law.

After being unable to pay for his 23 lottery tickets, including the one that secured him the jackpot, the credit card company repossessed everything that Mr Stevenson owned.

Unfortunately for Chester he only owns the shirt on his back, and nobody was in a rush to remove it. So in the first case of its kind, the judge (who is unavailable for comment) ruled that Mr. Stevenson should become the Lottery's slave until he has earned the 6million pounds jackpot that he would have won had he not been so devious.

‘The deal is a lot sweeter than it seems' remarks Chester, who will be working as a security guard for the Lottery Headquarters, ‘I'll be working as a security guard for the Lottery Headquarters' Chester added unnecessarily, ‘I'll have a place to sleep, I'll be getting paid, and in just 294 years I'll be free and I'll live like a king!'

The National Lottery was reluctant to comment but did issue this statement, ‘we would have gladly let Mr. Stevenson keep the six million: he smells like death, but the judge was very insistent'

Make Andley Blakerew's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 5?

7 11 10 14

Go to top