Written by Sunglasses

Print this
Topics: London, Homeless

Monday, 17 May 2004

image for Homeless people = Alternative fuel?
Homeless people

Esteemed English right-wing politician Sir Mark Hatcher has caused a stir in London today after he said that it would be of benefit to all if homeless people were to be 'recycled' or even 'cut into pieces' and used as fuel 'for the elderly'.

Every year thousands of people end up on the streets, roughing it in London's notorious 'cardboard city' as the result of abuse and poverty.

Hatcher's horrifying comments came in response to a question from a journalist asking him what he felt should be done about the homeless people in London.

Hatcher was taking part in a 'charity' polo match at the time and decreed his bewildering policies from the mount of his faithful steed 'Hitler' to the cheers of his fellow Conservative pals.

"It's all Fagins fault..." he screamed between swigs from his hipflask, "...that bloody urchin, and the pied piper, all of them, and all those awful bloody children running around stealing pocket watches. Millions of them there are! The London underground is literally swarming with them like little grubby cockney rats... Kill them all I say, if they have no use in society then we'll bloody well use them, won't we Rupert!! Ahhh..."

A Conservative member admitted this was a potential policy but would not be discussed publically until they had defeated the Labour government at the next elections.

So there's really nothing to worry about then.

Make Sunglasses's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 1?

9 4 2 8
58 readers are online right now!

Go to top