Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 16 June 2008

image for David Davis Didn't Resign; Claims He Was Pushed
Two unidentified men push a box containing David Davis

David Davis, the Conservative MP for Haltemprice & Howden, who was reported to have resigned his post last Wednesday, has said in an interview in the Mail on Sunday, that he didn't resign, but was, instead, pushed.

Mr Davis, whose impulsiveness incurred the wrath of Tory leader David Cameron, has left a huge hole in the party, but is adamant he didn't want to relinquish his seat, and today told the newspaper that he had been walking along a corridor in the House of Commons, when he felt "a huge shove in the back".

Mr Davis didn't see who was responsible for the attack, but is convinced it was intended to knock him down a flight of stairs, and has wasted no time in clearing his desk.

Now, ex-editor of The Sun newspaper, Kelvin McKenzie, is poised to take over the sleepy East Yorkshire constituency. Mr McKenzie was out early this morning looking for women with pert breasts for inclusion in his first manifesto pamphlet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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