London - (Dumb Ass Mess): "That's screwed them over good and proper!" was the delighted comment from the Met's Commander Jim B Ergerac following a national flap over some classified intelligence (sic) papers left carelessly behind on the 6.25 to Dorking the other day.
The counter-intelligence sting was masterminded by senior officers from Operation Rize which has found two tonnes of Brink's-Mat bullion heist ingots, missing since October 1983, in London safety deposit vaults owned by Lord Levy, the Labour Party's Mr Cashpoint.
"The spoof intelligence dossier was always a little teaser designed to weed out an Al-Qaeda traitor in the Cabinet Orifice," Ergerac chuckled.
"Just like that 'Dodgy WMD Dossier' that identified George Bush's Non-Aligned Crack Barons' Association payroll moles, this little beauty has successfully led all Gorgon Brown's Cabinet IRA terrorists up the proverbial garden path.
"And that twerp at the BBC, security correspondent Frank Gardner!"
The Dorking train dossier was handed in to UK TV news after 'Disgusted of Margate' apparently found them on a seat, read them from cover to cover, tried flogging them on eBay and finally arranged for a fifty quid backhander from the BBC half-wit.
The Spoof's very own Joint Intelligence Committee (JIC) insider writes:
"Bloody ha ha, gotcha bastards, the laugh's on you, call yourselves intelligent?"
More details are expected in a later update.