Written by carina-eta
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Topics: Cats

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

image for Man Jailed For Binning Stray Cat
Did de bad man hurt de ickle puddy tat den?

Amicable pensioner Mr Albert Potwhistle was today horrified to find himself thrown into jail with the likes of Ian Huntley for binning a dead cat he found in the gutter near his home.

Mr Potwhistle had placed the dead cat in his wheelie bin and "asked around" after finding it dead. A neighbour,who cannot be named for legal reasons, two doors up claims that she had asked Mr Potwhistle if the dead cat had a "little black spot on his left ear" and an "extra claw on his back right leg." Mr Potwhistle had described the cat as "black and white."
The neighbour, who cannot be named as she is the accuser, had then discovered Fluffy in Mr Potwhistle's wheelie bin "on top of some empty tins and underneath cabbage leaves" and had to be supported home by relatives.

The neighbour called police in to investigate after claiming that Mr Potwhistle had denied Fluffy a proper funeral where he would have been buried in a "shady nook" covered with flowers picked by her kids.

"I can't let them see him like this," she sobbed,"he's covered in gravy."

At his trial Mr Potwhistle, who couldn't afford legal representation on his pension, claimed that he had removed the deceased cat from the gutter as "it was covered in fly eggs" at which point the Judge stated that Mr Potwhistle seemed to be getting a kick out of distressing the cats owner and jailed him for 10 days.

In a statement to the local press Mr Potwhistle shouted,"It was already bloody dead when I found it, how can I get done for animal cruelty?"

One of Mr Potwhistle's next door neighbours who claimed a right to anonymity, today said that he intended to put a couple of the cruel old b*st*rds window's through, before the "real mob" gets here.

A spokesman for the RSPCA has stated that the organisation hopes that this will send a strong message out to all those who treat animals with little respect.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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