Written by Jonsey
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Topics: Global Warming, Cars

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

image for Hummer H2O Announced

The ASBO vehicle manufacturer Hummer has announced their new 'climate friendly' vehicle today. Unusually for the manufacturer, the only emission from this vehicle will be water.

Greenpeace nutcase Rosie Carlson comments "This is an absolute outrage. We encourage potential purchasers to read between the lines of the marketing hype"

The new vehicle will have 1900 BHP and is believed to accelerate fro 0-62 in under 3 seconds. However due to the tragic deaths of 4 test drivers attempting to prove this estimate, Hummer has abandoned further attempts.

The vehicle is powered by an experimental thermonuclear fission engine which will be housed in the engine 'reactor' compartment. The engine powers the four-wheel drive system and the air conditioning system which is expected to have a 'low' temperature of -15 Celsius.

Hummer admits that they now face some unusual challenges with preparing the world for a legal, mobile nuclear weapon for under $50,000. "The public should rest assured that the grade of Uranium used in our vehicle is not of the quality required for a nuclear explosion". The first challenge, how to safely sell uranium to the general public is currently under investigation. The second challenge is what to do with the waste water that is disposed from the reactor. It is believed that Hummer is hosting synergies discussions with Dasani.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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